In The Mood
by flashpenguin
Summary: When two fussy, anal retentive, compartmentalizing, neat freaks decide to go by the book and have a baby, they find that it's easier said than done...in every way! Six chapters! COMPLETE!
1. Prologue

_Inspiration comes from the strangest of sources, and this story is no exception. Back in 1996, I was bored and flipping thru cable stations when I came across a "soft porn" movie on HBO. It was about a couple trying to "set the mood" and create a baby. Of course, EVERYTHING that could go wrong did! It was actually a cute movie with a perfect ending. Flash forward 15 years, and I'm bored again - with nothing to watch - and this movie plays in my head! Automatically, I saw Dave and Em - the compartmentalizing, anal-retentive, fussy, by the book, planners that they are - doing everything they could to make sure that everything goes right. But someone forgot to call Murphy's Law and let him know. I changed it up but left the premise the same. I hope you enjoy._

_I don't own Criminal Minds…but this could make an excellent episode!_

_Song prompt: (and the perfect prompt!) "In The Mood" by Chicago (originally done by Glenn Miller)._

_P.s. Sorry for the short chapter, but it sets the…um…well, the mood. Pardon the pun!_

**In The Mood**

Making a baby was supposed to be easy…man sets the mood, woman gets in the mood, they create a mood…and nine months later a little bundle of joy arrives on their doorstep. Easier said than done.

_Damn those 'How To' books,_ Dave Rossi muttered silently to himself as he snuggled under the thick blanket. The sound of clicking keyboards, telephones ringing, and voices shouting filled the spacious area outside the office where he sat. This definitely had to be his definition of hell. Letting out a sigh, he cursed himself. There was no way he could ever spin this for a novel…even he wasn't that good.

"Agent Rossi?" The desk sergeant inquired as he poked his head around the doorway. Dave looked up with a blank expression at the middle aged gentleman who wore a barely concealed smile but his eyes danced with humour. "I contacted Aaron Hotchner, per your request; he'll be here in half an hour."

_Half an hour? _Dave groused. He started to say something but when he glanced at Emily, he bit his tongue and remained silent. It wouldn't do any good to say what was on his mind and make the situation worse than it already was. _Worse? Hell, Dave, your dog is in the pound, the house nearly burned down, and now you and Em are sitting in a police station waiting for your best friend to come and bail you out. How could it be any worse?_

Looking at the pale faced woman beside him, tear tracks down her cheeks, Dave's heart constricted painfully. He covered her slight hand with his large one and held on to give her comfort.

"What is Hotch going to say?" Em whispered and wrapped the corners of her blanket tighter around her shoulders. "Worse, what is Strauss going to say?" Tears sparkled in her dark brown eyes and threatened to break loose. Dave struggled to come up with a witty response, but couldn't.

_Good question…_ Dave closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the cool cinder block wall. _How did I end up here, is the better question…_


	2. Chapter 2

_Back to where it all started. Before I start, let me just say: Poor Dave and Em. Not!_

**In The Mood**

Twelve hours earlier…

"Good morning, Tesoro," Dave whispered in Em's ear, his body pressed against her slender back.

"Good morning to you, too," Em replied and stretched out against her husband's length. Feeling his arousal, she rotated her hips. Hearing his draw in his breath, she gave a slight chuckle. "I see someone else is thinking it's a good morning too," she observed saucily.

"I almost have everything set; all you have to do is check and see if you are ovulating and we can get this show on the road," Dave growled low in her ear.

"I love it when you put it so bluntly." Em rolled over and looked at the man who had been her partner for years and was now her husband. So many times she had placed her life in his hands without a second thought, now she was contemplating creating a baby with him - a perfect replica of the man she loved and adored.

"We don't want to miss our window of opportunity."

Em kissed him quickly. "Did you make sure to tell Pen that no one is supposed to disturb us on our day off?" She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and sat up. Reaching for her robe, she slipped it on.

"I did. I also switched our phones to 'vibrate'. If anyone needs us, they can leave a message."

"What if it's important?"

"That is why they created voice mail, Tesoro. This is our day to create life instead of taking it." Dave reached for her hand and brought it to his lips. "No one is going to bother us."

"I just think that maybe we should have taken your friend up on that offer to use his cabin for our romantic getaway."

"I'll hang a 'do not disturb' sign on the door. Now go take the test and I'll get things ready. Someone is eager to say 'hello' to you." His eyes danced as he trailed kisses along the inside of her wrist.

"Mmmm… Hold that thought and I'll be right back." Em pulled away and went into the bathroom and closed the door.

Taking his cue, Dave jumped from the king sized bed and pulled on his robe. Making his way to the door, he opened it to find Mudgie on the other side.

"Good morning, boy," he greeted. Barking loudly, the black Lab danced around excitedly. "I know you want to go outside." Descending the staircase, Dave went to the back of the house and opened the door. "I want to be alone with Emily today, so no bothering us. You may chase squirrels this one time." Rushing out into the huge backyard, Mudgie barked and ran around.

"Be good," Dave ordered. Closing the door, he turned toward the kitchen. Opening the bottom cabinet, he pulled out a box. Smiling, he placed it on the counter as he reached for two coffee mugs. Pouring the scalding liquid, he added the sugar to one and Splenda to the other. Maybe coffee wasn't needed for what was about to go down, but having that extra jolt never hurt.

Tucking the box under his arm, he grabbed the mugs and started back upstairs. Once in the master bedroom, he began setting up 'Operation Baby-Making'. Placing the candles around the room, he quickly lit them and then started a fire in the fireplace. Soon the crackling of a warm fire and the smell of burning wood filled the room.

Standing up, he made his way to the bed. Quickly he changed the sheets and pillow cases. Okay, maybe satin sheets was going over the top and wouldn't guarantee that a baby would happen, but every little bit could only help. Plus, the thought of satin caressing his body as Em was on top of him, made his blood boil hot.

Hearing the shower turn off, he stepped over to the dresser and quickly donned the silk boxers he had been saving for a special occasion. As the fabric slid over his aroused flesh, he took a deep breath and tried to control his emotions.

"Hurry up, Em," he muttered. Before, when he was younger, he could have taken care of the situation and been ready to go again in no time flat. But that was then and this was now and his fifty plus year body needed a little more time to recover before going for round two. Getting under the covers, he looked around at the room and checked off his mental list: candles, coffee, curtains drawn, fire lit and going strong…check, check, and check again. Now it was time to make a baby.

Slowly, Em opened the bathroom door and stepped out wearing a heavy terry cloth robe. She sniffed the air appreciatively. "Warm vanilla sugar. Nice."

"Speaking of nice," Dave remarked, "please tell me that that isn't what you spent two hours in Victoria's Secret buying."

Tugging on the collar, she threw him a look. "Are you telling me that you don't like my choice of lingerie?" She moved closer to the bed, her hand snaking under the covers.

"Uh…" Dave felt her hand close around him. "Umm…Em…I like it." He tried to find the right words.

"For an expert profiler, you make a crummy liar," she replied and untied the belt with her free hand. Letting the material drop to the floor, she watched as Dave's eyes' widened with surprise and then darken with desire as he took in the purple lace one piece teddy. "That was for me. This is for you."

"I like."

"I knew you would." Pulling the covers back, she looked at him. "I like what I see, too." Getting on the bed, she straddled him. "I took the test."

Dave ran a hand over her dark locks, down her neck and shoulder, and caressed her back. The rough lace against his palm was nearly his undoing.

"And?"

"I'm fertile. But we only have a twenty four hour window."

"Well, woman, let's see what we can do about it before I explode from need."

Em leaned over and covered Dave's mouth with her own. Eagerly, he returned her kiss as his body arched up to find her. Rotating her hips, she slid the rough lace of the crotch against him. Relishing in his moans, she did it again.

"Are you trying to kill me?" Dave rasped as he broke from the kiss and trailed his lips down her neck to her breasts.

"Not yet. I still need you."

"Use me and abuse me," he spoke against her skin, his hand cupped her full breast and kneaded it gently.

"You enjoy it," she moaned and closed her eyes. Her nipple perked hard through the lace.

"Only when you do it." He took the nipple in his mouth and suckled gently. A fire grew in Em's belly as her blood rushed fast and hot. Feeling the beginnings of an orgasm, she braced herself as Dave suckled and stroked her.

"Faster. Oh God, Dave, I'm almost there," she cried as her body tightened. Continuing to stoke her, Dave suckled her breast as the first wave washed over her, followed by a second and third.

Sated, Em collapsed on Dave's chest. "Oh God, that was…wow!"

Rolling her over onto her back, Dave settled between her legs. "You think that was 'wow!'. Sweetheart, you haven't seen anything yet." Pulling at the snaps at the teddy crotch, he released them and breathed in Em's warm musk. His body strained for completion.

Pushing through the opening of his boxers, he positioned himself at her opening. _Almost there, _his mind chanted. _Almost there…_

"Dave," Em breathed, "now."

Dave felt his world begin to turn upside down, then halt as the sound of the door bell filled the air.


	3. Chapter 3

_The ringing of the doorbell is the first killjoy for the romantic weekend our lovers have planned. And it snowballs from there!_

**In The Mood**

Dave froze. "What the hell was that?" he panted heavily, his body straining for release. Before Em could answer, the bell rang again.

"I think someone is at the front door," she answered, her chest heaving from excitement and surprise.

"Who the hell is at the front door this time of the morning?" he asked and checked his watch. A half past eleven. The door bell sounded for a third time. Suddenly the romantic desire left his body. Pushing himself to his knees, he reached over and grabbed his robe from the chair. Stepping on the carpet, he donned the designer silk and knotted the belt.

"Whoever it is," he answered his own question, "better have a damn good excuse or be Publisher's Clearing House with a fucking ton of money!" Stomping out of the master bedroom, he slammed the door behind him. Em fell against the pillows and let out a frustrated sigh.

Downstairs a pounding on the door replaced the door bell. Excited but on guard, Mudgie barked and danced around. Dave tried to calm the large Lab down.

"Mudgie, heel!" he ordered sharply. Taken to task, the dog obeyed. Dave unbolted the door and released the chain. Pulling back the heavy oak, he blinked as he recognized the person on the porch. "Ambassador Prentiss!"

Regal and patrician, Ambassador Elizabeth Prentiss tilted her chin slightly upward. "Good morning, David," she greeted. "Is Emily home?"

"Ambassador…"

"I called the office," Elizabeth interrupted. "They informed me that she was out for the day. I thought I might stop by and take her out for lunch and shopping."

"She's home, but we were busy…" Dave started and stopped as the slight woman pushed forward and past him to stand in the foyer. Irritated but shocked at her bold move, he struggled to find a pleasant response. "Please, won't you come in and make yourself comfortable?" He closed the door. "Mudgie, go outside and play," he ordered. The dog turned and left.

"Is Emily home?" Elizabeth repeated.

"Mother!" Em's voice barked from the top of the balustrade. "What are you doing here?" Quickly, she floated down the stairs.

"Come here!" Taking Em in her arms, Elizabeth hugged her daughter. Shocked, Em didn't try to pull away at the unexpected embrace. "How are you?"

"Mother," Em sputtered and pulled back, "I thought you were staying at the White House this weekend."

"The President and your father went to play a round of golf and I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to stop by and see you and David." She cast a prudent glance at her robe clad son in law. "I thought I might take you out to lunch and shopping."

"Mother…" Em began, her cheeks flushing hot and red. "I don't think…"

"You do have the day off, and I'm free of commitments, so it's perfect. Go get dressed," Elizabeth ordered with a wave of her hand.

"Mother…"

Dave stepped forward. "Ambassador, what Emily is trying to say is that we had plans for this weekend."

Elizabeth shrugged. "They can wait. It's not everyday I get a chance to spend time with my favourite daughter."

"Your _only_ daughter," Em muttered.

"Ambassador," Dave interrupted more forcefully, "what I am trying to say is that we had _specific_ plans for today."

"I don't understand…"

"We're trying to make a baby!" Em spoke up without thinking. Realization slowly dawned on the older woman. Her mouth formed a perfect O. Her eyes twinkled with mischief.

"Why didn't you say so?" Hiking her designer purse higher, she scanned Dave from head to toe. "That would explain your attire this late in the morning." Patting his cheek, Elizabeth smiled. "Have fun." Walking toward the door, she opened it, then turned around. "Remember, Emily, afterwards, stand on your head for fifteen minutes; that will help fertilization." Stepping outside, she closed the door with a soft thud.

Speechless, Em and Dave looked at one another.

"What the hell just happened?" Em asked.

"I was just getting ready to ask you the same thing." Dave peered out the front window and watched the official limousine pull out and speed off. "I thought you called everyone to tell them not to bother us."

"I didn't know my mother was going to stop by. I haven't talked to her in nearly two months," Em stuttered.

"Well, that was just a bump in the road. There shouldn't be any other unexpected surprises." He took Em in his arms and began kissing her. Slowly the desire built between them as their breathing became more laboured. Untying the belts on their robes, they let the material fall to the floor. "Would it make a difference where this baby is conceived?"

"He doesn't have to ever know," Em replied as her hand ducked into the opening of Dave's boxers and boldly stroked him.

"She," Dave corrected. Pushing Em against the wall, he hiked her legs up around his waist. Fusing his mouth to hers, he tried to hold back but it was too much. Nudging her opening, he prepared to thrust forward when the phone rang.

"What the fuck?" he barked.

"I thought you turned off all the phones," Em panted. Her body throbbed from need that was not being tended to and it was making her crazy.

"I forgot the main line." Dave leaned his forehead against hers.

"Oh God. Great." She slid her legs from around Dave's waist and stood on shaky legs.

"Let the machine get it."

"It could be important."

"Nothing is more important than you, Tesoro," Dave replied and nuzzled her soft neck. Em's pulse raced. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she boldly kissed him.

"_Dave? Are you there? It's Theresa. I tried calling your cell, but it keeps going to voice mail. I hate to bother you, but it's important. The publisher wants to know if you can change the last chapter of your book. I told him that you won't, but he's insisting…"_

Dave grabbed the handset. "Theresa, it's Dave. What's happening?" He nodded as he listened to her reply. "Well, the ending is what it is; I won't change. Tell him that." He looked at Em pitifully. She pursed her lips and gave a slight nod.

"I'll be in the kitchen," she whispered. Making her way into the spacious room, she rustled thru the fridge for something to eat. If she wasn't going to be able to make love and make a baby, at least she could make a sandwich. Spreading the mayo, she slapped the roast beef and lettuce on the bread slices.

Standing beside the counter, Em munched her meal silently as she half listened to the one sided conversation from the study. Washing her hands, she dried them off.

"That was Theresa," Dave spoke up from the entry way.

"I know."

"There is a problem with the book. They want the ending changed."

"The one about the babies in Arizona? It was a good ending."

"I know. But the publisher wants it to be more 'elaborate'." He used his fingers to quote the word.

"The babies were rescued - as were the women - and the UNSUBs were arrested. What's to elaborate?" Em asked, returning his quotes.

Dave shrugged. "I don't know. I'm not going to worry about it. Let's get back to business." He caressed her cheek and moved in for a kiss. Em pulled away.

"I don't know if we should. So far nothing has gone in our favour. I keep thinking another shoe is going to drop."

"Well, it isn't going to happen. We set this day aside, so I say we use it." He tried to kiss her.

"I need to brush my teeth," Em replied and pulled back. "I'll be back in a few minutes." Turning on her heel, she left him alone.

"This is _not_ happening!" Dave spoke aloud to the empty room. Looking out the kitchen window, he noticed Mudgie near the fence. Rushing outside, he shouted to the dog. "Mudgie! Stop that!"

Looking down, he saw the beginnings of a tunnel under the boards. "What do you think you're doing?" he chastised the canine. "No digging!" Mudgie whined a response. "I mean it."

"Mr. Rossi," a shrill voice called out.

Dave peeked over the fence and glanced at the older woman standing in the back yard. Nearly five feet tall, she was dressed very conservatively with a huge hat to block the harsh sun. The contrast was enough to make Dave chuckle.

"Yes, Mrs. Schultz?" he tried to keep his voice pleasant.

"Your dog is trying to get into my backyard. Again."

"I'm sorry about that. I am going to take him inside. I promise it won't happen again." Dave reached down for Mudgie's collar. "Come on."

"It better not," Mrs. Schultz warned. "I don't care if you are the FBI; if that rabid mongrel gets loose and tries to bite me, I am going to call the police and have them put it down. You mark my word."

"Yes, Mrs. Schultz."

"I'm warning you," she bit off and stormed back inside.

Sighing heavily as he tried to keep the epitaph inside, he dragged Mudgie inside. Closing the door, he looked at the dog. "She means it Mudge. Do NOT dig under that fence. That is an order." Mudgie wagged his tail and barked.

"She will make sure you never dig again. I'm warning you not to bother her. Now go lie down." Eagerly the dog ran to the other side of the house. Dave locked the door. "At least she didn't get to see me like this."

Walking into the living room, he began climbing the stairs when the doorbell rang. Again.


	4. Chapter 4

_Things have just gone from bad to worse, to give me a fucking break! Poor Mudgie!_

**In The Mood**

Dave gave a curse under his breath and hurried to open the front door. Opening the heavy oak, he was surprised to see JJ on the other side.

"I am so sorry to bother you," the media liaison rushed as she took in the look on the older agent's face and his bedroom attire. "I was finishing up these files and realized that you hadn't signed some reports."

"Give them to me," Dave ordered.

"Well…" JJ began. "It's not that easy…"

"Just hand them over."

Leaning down, JJ picked up the file box and handed it to Dave. "Here."

"All of these?" he barked. "There has to be a mistake."

"Not _all_ of them require your signature," she corrected, "but to be on the safe side, I put the ones that do need your signature on top. But you better go thru the rest and double check."

"You have to be kidding me." Dave took the box.

JJ shrugged sympathetically. "It's either now or let Strauss see them."

Dave sighed heavily. "You might as well come in and make yourself comfortable." Turning away, Dave headed toward the study. "Em is upstairs," he offered as an afterthought.

Slowly it dawned on JJ what she had interrupted. "Dave, I can come back later."

"I'll hurry up."

Blushing, JJ went into the living room and waited.  
>*******<p>

Two hours later, Dave closed the last manila folder and placed it back in the box. Refitting the lid, he stood up and carried the box out of the study to the living room where JJ and Em were sitting and talking.

"It's all done and corrected," he stated and thrust the cardboard container at the blonde woman. "Here."

"Dave, I am so sorry," JJ apologized and stood up.

"Don't worry about it; it's not the first interruption today."

Taking the box, JJ made sure the lid was on tight. "I'm sorry. If I had known…" She looked at her best friend for help.

"It's alright, Jayje." Em gave her a reassuring nod.

"I'll be going now." JJ rushed to the front door. "I'll see you both on Monday," she threw over her shoulder and closed the door behind her.

Silence filled the room.

"Is it me, or has everything that could go wrong today done so?" Dave wondered a loud.

"I don't think it's been that bad," Em contradicted. "We've had a few interruptions."

"A few? I don't get this many people knocking on my door in a week at the BAU. I swear, I think they all picked up that we wanted to be alone and are going out of their way to make sure we don't get a moment of peace and quiet."

"Well, we are alone now," Em observed saucily and fiddled with the belt on her kimono.

"Chances are that we will be interrupted by something else the moment we are alone."

Em backed up out of the room. "Okay…if you think you can't handle it, but I remember hearing all the rumours about a man who could do it anywhere, anytime…no matter the circumstances." She untied the belt and let the shoulder of her robe drop and reveal a creamy breast.

"I was a lot younger back then."

Em raised her eyebrow. "If you think you don't have what it takes," she taunted, "then I guess I'll finish by myself." She started up the stairs.

"The hell you will," Dave growled and hurried after her. Yelping a quick laugh, Em rushed up the stairs to the master bedroom. Close on her heels, Dave ran after her and caught her near the bed.

Pulling the brunette to him, he covered her mouth with his. The hunger he felt for her was nearly as overwhelming as the desire to be one with her body. Pushing the silk robe to the floor, he picked Em up and threw her on the bed. Covering her body with his, he ravished her body senselessly while his erection strained painfully. No matter what happened, they were going to make that baby today. Come hell or high water.

Em pulled her lover closer as she kissed him, weaving her fingers through his thick hair. His goatee tickled her skin. His fingers caressed her, stroked her, and set her blood on fire. She was nearly suffocating from the heat he was causing in her body.

"Dave," she gasped and broke away from his kiss.

"What?" he asked against her skin.

"I'm burning up."

Trailing his lips down across her neck, his fingers fumbled as he tried to bring her to completion before seeking his. "I know."

"No," she breathed heavily, "I mean that I am literally burning up. I can't breathe. It's too hot in here."

Dave pulled back. "What do you mean?"

"It's stifling in here; could you open a window? Please?" Her cheeks flushed red from heat and exertion.

Groaning, Dave pushed himself up. Walking over, he opened the first of the four tall windows. Immediately the cool air hit his skin as a breeze moved the curtains. "Is that better?" he asked, turning to face Em.

"Yes.. Dave, the curtain is on fire!" Em screamed and jumped up. Dave whipped around to see the filmy white material turn orange as fire raced up its length. Reaching for a pillow, he frantically hit at the flames. Faster the fire ate the material as the breeze fueled it and then helped it jump to the other curtain.

"Move!" Em commanded and pushed him aside. In the blink of an eye, she hit the curtain with a book. Suddenly the sound of glass breaking filled the air as the fire went out and smoke filled the room. The remains of the curtain floated outside as the breeze carried it away.

Dave stood in shock as he tried to take in the scene. Flicking his eyes downward he looked at the item in Em's hand.

"You used my book to put out the fire?" he asked incredulously.

"It was the only thing I had on hand."

"I had the fire under control."

"You were hitting it with a pillow!" she returned.

"It was working!"

"It was spreading!"

"You didn't have to use my book!"

"Get over it!"

A loud barking filled the air. Dave paused, held up his hand. "Where is Mudgie?"

"Downstairs?" Em replied.

"David Ross!" a voice screeched. "I just called the police to get your dog!"

"Oh shit!" Dave cursed and rushed out of the bedroom. Em followed him. Hitting the front door, Dave raced across his yard to the next door to get his dog.

Cornered on the porch, Mrs. Schultz stood on the chair, a broom in her hands, swinging frantically at the barking Lab. "Go away!" she ordered. "Scat! Scram!"

"Mudgie!" Dave called out. "Heel!" Almost automatically, the dog stopped barking and sat down. His tail wagged excitedly. "Mrs. Schultz, I am so sorry about that," Dave offered and reached for Mudgie's collar but came up empty. "Where is your collar…?"

The little woman stepped down and advanced toward Dave. "I warned you about that mutt! I called the police. They are on their way."

"Look, I am sure we can resolve this without involving the police; let me take Mudgie home and I'll tie him up," Dave replied evenly.

"No! You had your chance. That dog wants to bite me."

"Of course he would," Em interjected, "when you try to hit him with a broom!"

"Em, stay out of this," Dave warned in a low tone.

"Stay out of this? Are you serious?"

"Yes, I am."

"No. She is making a big to do about Mudgie, but he was just trying to be friendly."

"He wants to bite me," the woman angrily cried out.

"Mudgie would never bite you," Dave retorted without thinking. "He has better sense than that. Don't you, Mudge?"

"David…" Em began.

"Don't you 'David' me!" he returned.

"Don't you lose your temper with me!" Em shot back.

"Why not? It's been one thing after another today. Now this." Dave spread his hands wide.

"I doubt it's been deliberate." Em felt her temper rising.

"Like your mother coming over unexpectedly?" Dave asked.

"Mother made a mistake. I don't think she had a clue about today."

Dave bit his tongue and counted to ten…twice. "Okay. But what about Mudgie wanting to dig? And JJ?"

"What about Theresa? You were supposed to turn off all the phones," Em replied harshly. "But you forgot that one."

"Well, maybe if you hadn't wanted a baby so badly, we could have been at work today and avoided all of this."

Em's mouth dropped open. "Are you saying that this is all my fault?" Her eyes welled up with angry tears. Dave raised his eye brown in mock response. "I hate you." Turning around, Em walked over to the house and tried to open the front door. "It's locked."

"What?" Dave asked as sirens filled the air. Two cars pulled up to the curb along with an Animal Control truck. Slowly the neighbours came outside to watch the scene.

"It's locked," she shouted. "You have to be kidding me!" Frantically, she turned the knob.

"He's over here," Mrs. Schultz announced as the officers got out of their patrol vehicles. "That is the mutt that tried to bite me, and that is his owner."

"Sir, is this your dog?" the patrol man asked as he took in the older man clad in nothing but silk boxers. He also noticed the lingerie clad woman tugging on the front door.

"Yes it is," Dave replied smoothly.

"Does he have a tag?"

"He does…but it's not on him. It must have fallen off when he got under the fence," Dave replied. Suddenly, he started sweating. He glanced at the name tag. Officer Richards.

"And you live…next door?" the young man asked.

"I do." Dave held the officer's stare.

"And that woman…is…" Officer Richards prompted.

"My wife."

"You are…?"

"David Rossi. I'm an FBI agent. That is Emily Prentiss."

"May I see your ID?"

"It's inside and the front door is locked, Officer Richards," Dave stressed the last name subtly.

"I'm going to have to take you in."

"What?" Dave asked in stunned surprise. "I live right here. I can prove it. May I borrow your phone, Mrs. Schultz?"

The woman crossed her arms over her chest. "Go somewhere else."

"Oh, that's great!"

"You can make a call from the station." Involuntarily, the patrolman scanned Em's lithe, purple laced covered body.

"I would suggest you put those eyes back in your head," Dave growled low.

"Threatening a police officer? Smart move, old man." Whipping Dave around, Officer Richards snapped the cuffs on Dave's wrists. "Come with me."

"Wait!" Em called out. "What are you doing?" She rushed after Dave. "Where are you going?"

"Down to the station," came the terse reply.

"We live here!"

"You want to make trouble? Johnson, take her too," Richards called out as he placed Dave in the backseat of the patrol car. Dave watched helplessly as Em was handcuffed and Mudgie was collared and dragged to the Animal Control truck.

Em was pushed inside and the door was slammed hard. She tried not to think as the patrolman radioed in to dispatch.

"Em…" Dave began.

"Don't speak to me," she ordered in a low tone that left no room for argument.

"Officer," Dave called out, "if you could just call Aaron Hotchner at the FBI, I'm sure we can clear this up."

"You can call him after we process you. Right now, just be quiet and make yourself comfortable." Finishing his relay, he made a couple of notes and put the car in drive.

"Where are they taking my dog?"

"To the pound. I'm not going to warn you again."

Dave turned his head and watched as the Animal Control truck went in the opposite direction.

Just like his life.


	5. Chapter 5

_Okay, who didn't feel a bit of evil delight when Dave got arrested? Well, he's had time to think about everything that led him and Em up to that moment. And now Hotch is coming to bail them out. How will it all end?_

**In The Mood**

Aaron Hotchner strode through the police station, his eyes quickly scanning the area for his friends. A small smile danced on his lips. Was it wrong to find the humour in the situation? Was it wrong to derive something from his friends' embarrassment?

_Get a grip, Aaron!_ He chastised himself harshly. _They need your support right now; not your evil delight in their misfortune._

Still…

Hotch approached the Sergeant's Desk. He flashed his credentials. "SSA Aaron Hotchner; I'm here to sign out SSA Rossi and Prentiss."

The Sergeant glanced at the picture. He nodded his head toward the room of to the far right of the bullpen.

"They are in the office waiting for you."

Hotch turned on his heel and crossed the room. Knocking on the door, he turned the knob and stepped inside.

"I wonder how you are going to manage to spin this for your next book," Hotch greeted as he took in his friends wrapped in gray blankets.

"Very funny, Aaron," Dave replied tonelessly.

Hotch handed them each a go bag. "Here. Get dressed so I can take you home."

"The charges…?" Dave asked as he pulled out the black sweats.

"Dropped."

"How?"

"The officers admitted that they may have 'overreacted', and contributed to the moment."

Dave raised his eyebrow. "How generous of them." He pulled on the sweat pants. "I don't think they want to hear how I plan on spinning their overreactions for the book." Yanking on the sweat shirt, he looked over at Em. Immediately he was contrite.

"What about Strauss?" Dave asked.

"I don't think you need to ask," Hotch replied. "But know that you are expected in her office on Monday."

"Where's Mudgie?"

"Back at the house. He went over to the recliner and laid down. I think he's taking this whole thing pretty hard."

Hotch reached into his pocket. Pulling out a key ring, he handed it over. "Good thing you gave me a spare."

Dave took the key and shoved it in his sweat pants pocket. "Thanks."

Hotch glanced at the ashen faced woman still sitting on the hard plastic chair. "Em, we'll leave you to get dressed."

Em's eyes refused to meet his. "Thank you."

Opening the door, Hotch waited for Dave to follow before closing the door soundly behind them.  
>****<p>

Em sat on the swing in the backyard. Unconsciously her foot pushed against the ground, her thoughts blank. Maybe it was just as well she couldn't analyze the last few hours, but a shower and change of clothes did nothing to help.

Dave had offered to order out, but she begged him off. She wasn't hungry. She wasn't much of anything. And she wasn't going to ever be a mom.

Soft footsteps sounded behind her.

"I thought I might find you out here," Dave spoke softly. He laid a hand on her shoulder. "You should come inside before it gets too cold."

"I'm fine," Em replied. Her eyes stayed fixed on the star dotted sky.

Dave sat down beside her. "I'm sorry for what happened today." He reached for her hand and held it gently. "And I'm sorry for what I said."

"You really hurt me," Em choked out, her lower lip trembling.

"I know. I was angry and hurt because I wanted the day to be perfect. I thought it would be easy…like writing a book."

"There is a difference."

Dave nodded. "I know. At least you know why I've been divorced three times."

"I think we took our compartmentalizing a bit too far. I'm sorry for 'Daving' you."

"It's okay; I deserved it." Dave stroked Em hand lovingly. "What's wrong, Em?"

"I really wanted a baby," she wept. "I thought that this might have been the moment when I finally got my wish."

"Me too. Maybe it's true about that saying 'the best laid plans of mice and men'. Maybe next time we'll just…"

Em shook her head. "No Dave. No next time."

"Aww, Em." Dave drew her close. "It's going to be alright." Holding her tight, he rocked her gently, kissed her hair.

Em looked up at her husband. He looked just as broken hearted as she was. And at that moment, her heart fell. Pulling his head down, she kissed him deeply. Immediately he responded by pulling her closer. As their tongues mated furiously, Em's hands fumbled to unbutton Dave's pajama jacket.

"Em?" Dave breathed heavily, his body coming to life.

"I don't care about a baby or being in the mood. Just let me love you," she whispered softly in Dave's ear. Standing up, she tugged him to his feet and over to the wide, spacious, meticulous lawn. "Lay with me," she asked, lying down on the ground.

"Em…what about the neighbours?" Dave hesitated.

"We're already on a first name basis with most of the cops after today. So, we'll be on a first name basis with the rest after tonight." She tugged on his hand again.

As careful as he could be with his knees, Dave lay down on the ground. Shifting, he tried to make himself comfortable.

"This isn't going to work," he stated.

"Shhhh," Em commanded as she finished unbuttoning the jacket and spread it open. "Just enjoy." Slowly her mouth made love to Dave as her hands pushed down the pajama bottoms and seeked him out. As her warm hand stroked him, she heard him groan out loud.

Dave closed his eyes and weaved his fingers in Em's dark locks. He was slowly losing his mind and the woman making love to him was the sole reason. As her hands and mouth worked their magic over him, he found all conscious thought going out of his head. He didn't care about anything but the moment.

Moving his hands downward, he ducked them under her nightgown. Cupping her breasts, he kneaded them gently. By her moans he knew that he was making her as excited as she was making him. Pulling her gown over her head, Dave drank in Em's naked beauty.

"Em…" he breathed as her hands continued to stroke and tease him past insanity.

Pressing a finger to his lips, Em shushed him. Her lips moved whisper soft over his nipples, across his stomach, to his belly button, down to his heavy length. She heard his gasp and the long breath of air as she loved him thoroughly. With every ounce of love in her heart, she let him know what he meant to her.

His cries reached her ears while his fingers curled in her hair. He was almost there. She was going to kill him… At least that was his thought when Em raised her head. Before he could object, Em lowered herself on him. And then it was official: she killed him.

Moving her hips, Em set a rhythm and dared him to keep up. Faster she moved against him as she took everything he had and gave it back in return. Her cries mingled with his as her body tightened and released with pleasure. Faster she moved against him as he quickened his thrusts. She was almost there.

Then he touched her and her world exploded into a million pieces. Crying out from ecstasy, Em braced her hands on Dave's chest while her body shook and bucked to completion.

Feeling Em's body convulse around his, Dave lost his hold on reality. As Em's velvet, hot walls gripped him tight, he thrust deep before pouring his being into her.

Taking a deep breath, Dave waited for the world to stop spinning before he tried to speak.

"Are you still alive?" he asked the woman splayed across his chest.

"Barely. Are you?"

"I hope so because I don't want Hotch to find us like this."

"I would drag you inside first," Em promised dreamily.

"You have the energy to do that?" Dave joked.

Em thought about it. "No," she admitted.

"Thanks." Dave stroked her hair as he contemplated the moment. He was lying naked on the grass in his backyard with his naked wife lying half asleep in his arms. He should move, but he didn't care.

"Wake me up in fifteen minutes," Em said softly.

"Why?"

"I don't want Mrs. Schultz to catch us."

"Okay," Dave replied, but his voice came in a whisper.

Em nuzzled her cheek against Dave's warm chest and listened to his heartbeat.

"I love you," she mouthed against his skin. Then she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

"I love you, too." Dave returned. "Fifteen minutes…" he said before closing his eyes and following his wife into dreamland.


	6. Epilogue

_The epilogue is up. And there is a big surprise for those who think they know how it's going to end. I hope you all enjoyed reading this story as much as I did writing it. Many thanks to those who faved, reviewed, and commented. It is appreciated more than you'll know._

_I don't own Criminal Minds._

_Song prompt: **"In The Mood" by Chicago**_

**In The Mood**

"Come on, Em," Dave encouraged, "push!"

Grunting from exertion, the sweat pouring down her face, Em glared at the man she swore she had once loved and would have taken a bullet for. Now she wanted to put a bullet in him.

"I am pushing!" she retorted hotly.

"You're almost there," the voice came from down between her legs. "I see the head."

"Did you hear that?" Dave asked. "He sees the head."

"I heard. I'm in labour; not deaf." Em leaned back against the table. She was so tired and she wanted meds.

"Okay, on this next contraction, I want you to give me a good, hard push," the voice commanded.

"I'll give you a push," Em replied.

Dave looked at his wife over the mask covering the lower part of his face. "I think he meant the baby, Tesoro."

"Don't 'Tesoro' me. And I know he meant the baby!" Em growled.

"She's not armed, is she?" the doctor asked Dave.

"I checked, but she was in Interpol once, so there is no telling where she could have hidden something," Dave responded.

"I don't need a gun! I'll get you both with my bare hands!" Em bit out angrily.

"Thank God we have her feet in stirrups," Dave stated under his breath.

"Careful with the sarcasm, Agent Hard Ass," Em warned. "I can arrange it so that you're the one having this baby. Oh!" she gasped sharply.

"Is it another contraction?" Dave asked.

"No shit, Sherlock! You make a better writer than an obstetrician," Em bit out as a wave of pain overwhelmed her.

"Okay, Emily, give me a big push," the doctor ordered.

Holding her up, Dave helped Em bear down as the contraction gripped and held. The seconds passed slowly.

"The head is out!"

"The head is out, Em."

"I heard. Is there any way I can do this by myself?" Em asked aloud. "I changed my mind; I don't want my husband to be my coach."

"It's too late, Emily, the baby is almost here," the doctor comforted.

"Can I get the epidural then? I changed my mind about natural childbirth."

"You're in transition. By the time we got the needle in, the baby could be here."

"I meant for Dave!" Em groused. Dave felt himself begin to sweat from the look she gave him.

"Okay, let's get the shoulders out," the doctor stated breaking up the heavy silence.

"I can't believe you did this to me," Em growled at Dave.

"What did I do?"

"This! You put me here. You did this to me!"

Dave looked helplessly at his wife then at the doctor who shook his head.

"It's the pain talking. She doesn't mean it."

"The hell I don't!" Em grunted as another contraction began.

"Well, you're not armed and you're barefoot, so I'm safe," Dave joked.

"I'll get PG to get you." Em closed her eyes. "Oh God! I have to push again!"

"One more and the baby will be here," the doctor encouraged.

"The baby is almost here. Come on, Em."

Em struggled to sit up. "When this is over, I'm going to kick your ass."

"I'll hold you to it, now push!" Dave ordered.

With everything she had, Em pushed as though her life depended on it. Pushing until she thought her body was going to be torn in half with pain, she knew that she was dying.

Then suddenly a wave of completion swept through her body as a weight was lifted. For a brief moment there was silence and then an angry cry filled the room.

"It's a boy!" the doctor shouted.

"I told you," Em said as she lay back against the table and tried to catch her breath. Amazingly her body didn't hurt and though she was exhausted, she wasn't tired. Actually, she felt really good.

The sound of the baby's cries faded as the staff did what they needed to clean and weigh him.

Walking over to where Em lay, Dave approached her with a white swaddled bundle.

"Em, do you want to see him?" he asked.

Turning her head, Em opened her eyes. Moving the blanket aside, she gazed upon the red faced newborn.

"Hi, pumpkin," she greeted, her voice choked with tears.

The baby grunted in return.

"So, you're the one who was using my bladder as a beach ball," she joked. "It's good to see you."

"You did good, Em," Dave choked. Tears ran down his cheeks. He handed the baby over.

"You helped." Em cradled the baby lovingly. "I love you," she murmured to the baby. Looking up, she smiled at Dave. "I love you."

Dave leaned down and kissed her soundly. "I love you too."

Looking at both of his parents, Baby Boy Rossi smiled.

The End.


End file.
